The month of April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. This article
therefore focuses on what you can do in your own community to help
prevent child abuse. Many times, in homes across the world, stress
precedes abuse to children. When a family is burdened and
overwhelmed with financial difficulties, no help with child care,
and a lack of resources, it can lead to the abuse of the children in
the home. There is something that you can do.
One idea is to go through your house and gather together items that
are in good condition, but that you no longer need or want. Those
items can then be sold out and the money donated to an agency that
deals with child abuse, in your own community. Having a yard sale or
garage sale can help you to get to know your neighbours better as
well. Perhaps, you can even consider holding a large sale, with
donations coming from several families.
Another idea would be to gather toys, clothes, and other items that
you no longer need or want and donate them to the same agency. The
items could be given to children and women staying in abuse
shelters. Often times, when fleeing an abusive situation, the mother
and children will leave their home with nothing but the clothes on
their backs. Another idea would be to get together with family and
friends, and have a car wash in your community. The funds can be
donated to the abuse shelter to help with their costs. It can be a
lot of fun.
You can also hold a block party, in your neighbourhood, and invite
all families living on your block to participate. Have games for the
children and everyone bring a favourite dish to share with others.
Doing this will give you a chance to meet your neighbours and their
children. This will enable you to form a trust with the other
families. Doing this might make the difference in a young child’s
life. If one family is feeling stressed or overwhelmed, they would
know they can turn to their neighbours for help. This will help to
lighten the load for the family in need and help to prevent abuse
towards the children.
If you are a mechanic, you can offer to help a single mother with
children with necessary car repairs. If you like to bake, maybe you
can consider baking items and holding a bake sale outside of the
local grocery store. All funds can be donated to an agency that
helps abused women and children. If you are a stay-at-home mother,
you might consider taking the neighbours’ children to the park to
play with your children and give the parents a time of rest. If you
cut hair, you may want to consider offering free haircuts for a
family nearby.
There are so many ways that you can help. I hope that you will
consider helping in any way that you can. It could make a world of
difference in the lives of children in your neighbourhood, as well
as their parents.
Respect and Consequences
When a child is abused, they are not being respected as a person. Of
course, whenever a child misbehaves or makes poor choices, there
must be consequences. However, respect must precede the
consequences. It is not appropriate to strike a child. Neither is it
ok for the parent or caregiver to belittle, demean, or neglect the
child.
For example, let’s say that a child comes home with a note from his
teacher. Apparently, as the note states, the child took something
that belonged to another student. He was asked to give it back and
refused. Therefore, the teacher sent a note home for his parents.
Obviously, he must have a consequence for his actions. However, all
parents and caregivers must realize that if they are angry, it is in
the best interest of the child to forego giving the consequence at
that time. It would be more appropriate to decide on the consequence
when anger is not an issue.
There are many healthy consequences that can be given to the child.
One consequence would be to take away a privilege, such as going out
to play with their friends on the weekend. Another consequence would
be to take away a favourite toy, such as a video game. Lastly, if
the child receives an allowance, that can be taken away for one
week. In the case of the child above, perhaps the best consequence
would be to write a letter to both the student he took from and the
teacher, apologizing to both of them. Obviously, there are many more
healthy consequences.
Unfortunately, there are many parents and caregivers that act
hastily and choose a consequence while they are very angry with the
child. Doing this means that abuse is likely for many children. Some
parents and caregivers do not know how to calm themselves down
before deciding on the consequence. Some might hit the child and
yell at him to not do it again. Others might belittle him and call
him names, ridiculing him the entire time. There is a way to prevent
abuse from happening to children like this one.
It is imperative that parents and caregivers understand that any
form of abuse is not appropriate. The adult must not act while angry
with the child. They must also have respect for the child’s being.
Again, this is not to say that the adult should not give a
consequence to the child for misbehaving. The adult must calm
themselves down first. Whatever the child did that was inappropriate
or wrong, it does not warrant abuse. What can a parent or caregiver
do when angry with the child? For starters, they can try counting to
twenty to give themselves time to cool down. They can also call a
family member or friend and talk it through with them first, before
acting and deciding on the consequence. They can also take a short
walk around the block, in order to calm down. By doing this, it will
assure that the child will not experience a consequence out of anger
and will also, hopefully, assure that the child is not harmed. There
are parenting classes that are taught in many communities. The
parents and caregivers can sign up for one of the classes and become
educated on dealing with misbehaviour and deciding on consequences.
Is this to say that the child that misbehaves should not have a
consequence for their actions? No! There must be consequences in
order for the child to learn their lesson. Life, for children, is
all about learning and growing, even through the mistakes and
misbehaviours. But, there must be healthy consequences that do not
harm the child physically, emotionally, or mentally. When an adult
abuses a child, there is no respect for their person. What should be
done if someone knows about a child that is abused when their parent
or caregiver is angry at the child’s misbehaviour? It should be
reported to the professionals so that the child is no longer abused.
As I have stated before, it is better to report it and be wrong,
than to not report it and be right. Prevention, in this case, would
be to report the suspected abuse.
Children deserve respect! They deserve to have healthy consequences
and to not be abused by their parents or caregivers.
KELLI is child abuse editor for Bellaonline.com
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